Have you ever looked at what someone was doing or thinking and thought to yourself,
“How could they be so stupid?”
or “They must be incompetent”?
Maybe you’ve even said, “I don’t understand why….[fill in the blank!]”
There’s a good reason for this reaction, but unfortunately, it can be deadly to any kind of change you might be hoping for, whether in thinking or behavior, internal or external to your organization. This mindset can interfere with your marketing, sales, operations, change efforts, and even fundraising.
So, what is the problem here? It’s something called the “false consensus” effect.
This may sound fancy, but essentially it means we believe that other people see the world the same way we do. When we think, “How could that person be so stupid?” it’s because we don’t understand why someone else wouldn’t do it the way we would.
But consider this: they might just be thinking the same thing about us. There have probably been times when someone has said or thought this about you, which means they are also experiencing the “false consensus” effect.
How do we solve this?
- Recognize that it happens. Anytime you think, “Why?”, flag it to yourself that they must see the world differently than you do.
- Think about how they see the world. Now, you might be thinking, I have no idea how I could do that. There are too many people in the world or in my organization to figure out what their worldview is. And that’s where the third thing comes into play.
- Rely on a common aspect of identity. As I discuss in my book, Say What They Can’t Unhear: The Nine Principles of Lasting Change, identity is the greatest influencer. People generally want to be seen as smart, capable, and good. Even if you don’t know anything else about their worldview, you can rely on this common desire.
Putting This into Practice: The Smart, Capable, Good Test
Consider your messaging and whether it passes the smart, capable, good test. For example, a button that says, “No thanks, I like wasting money,” probably doesn’t pass this test. Instead, you could change it to, “No thanks, not right now.” This subtle change from “No thanks, I like wasting money,” to “No thanks, I’m not interested,” or “No thanks, I’m not interested right now,” not only makes them feel better about themselves but also about their interaction with you. This sets the groundwork for better interactions in the future.
But watch out.
When you’re doing this test, you have to assume that somebody already is smart, capable, and good. The minute you make someone’s smart, capable goodness conditional on the action you want them to take, your message doesn’t pass this test. That’s because it’s already starting from the position that they aren’t smart, capable, and good, and somehow your position is fundamentally better.
They may not believe it, but they certainly want you to think that.
And you may not believe it either, but the moment you start to look at the world through the perspective of, “Well, why would a smart, capable, good person do this, even if I wouldn’t?”, it can open your eyes to extraordinary new possibilities, not only for them but for you and your business as well.