Hello, you!

Internally motivated change—the kind that come from the inside out—often begins with something you simply can’t unhear. It’s sparked by a truth that resonates so deeply it shifts your perspective.

Phrases like,

“​When two truths fight, only one wins​,”

or,

“A life lived in fear is a life half lived,”

or,

“You can’t make transformational change from a place of shame,”

all share one critical element: they’re recognizable truths.

The secret to saying something your audience can’t unhear? It has to be undeniably true. When you hear it, it clicks, and you can’t unhear it. Why? Because it’s a truth that feels undeniable.

These truths can do one of three things:

• Corrupt your current view of the world,
• Crystallize it, or
• Crack it open to new possibilities.

Each effect creates what learning theorists call a “​disorienting dilemma​”—a moment when something so undeniably true disrupts your worldview.

It’s critical when you’re starting to think about how to make your claim about your change and how to make your case for it that you start with something people can’t unhear, a recognizable truth that crystallizes corrupt or cracks, open a new way to see the world.

Something like, ​thoughts create feelings​, one of the foundational principles of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Or even something like, you can’t create transformational change from a place of shame (that one’s mine).

The thing about each of those statements is that, not only are they unquestionably clear, they’re also unquestionably things you can’t deny. And in certain situations, they can change everything about not just how you see the world but even how you see yourself.

So when you’re trying to create change, look for the recognizable truths, the things that someone that you’re talking to—or even yourself—can’t argue with.

And that gives you clarity on what new direction to head.