There’s a lot of talk these days about storytelling being, well, the answer to pretty much everything when it comes to building messages that build buy-in.
And that’s true.
Stories are critically important. I’ve said it before, every decision has a story behind it. Every action we take ends an internal argument in our head about why that decision makes sense.
And so stories are key. The more that we can get a message in the form of a story, the more that people will understand it.
And yet—have you ever had the experience where you have had a letter-perfect story? You are so proud of that hero’s journey you built…and it still doesn’t work?
That’s because of the other element of buy-in.
It isn’t just understanding, it’s agreement.
What’s more, the ideas we agree with, the actions we agree with, the stories we agree with, and the messages we agree with are based on beliefs we already have.
A story is an argument for an idea, and it’s an argument based on principles. But if you’re using principles that you believe but your audience doesn’t, it doesn’t matter how powerful your why is. It doesn’t matter how clearly you’ve articulated your idea, the message, or the story. If you fundamentally don’t agree on those underlying reasons why you do what you do in that particular way, the message is never going to work.
That can sound like bad news, but I don’t think it is for two reasons.
Number one, I have yet to meet any kind of leader, founder, communicator of any kind that has enough time or enough patience to continue to invest effort into a prospect, a client, a customer or relationship that isn’t going to go anywhere.
In fact, the sooner you know about that, the better. Which is why when you really talk about those principles, when you argue at that belief level, it helps to shorten how fast you find that out.
Now, the second reason why it’s not bad news is that it helps to understand where the conflict actually is, where the deeper disagreement is around an idea.
Sometimes that means you’re going to run into beliefs that you just can’t change. Research shows, for instance, that you either believe the world is a safe place or a dangerous one. Period. So if you’re trying to argue for a change or argue for an approach based on that kind of what’s called “primal belief,” it’s not going to work.
But there probably is some other belief, perhaps one or two levels above that, that you do share with someone. If both you and your audience or stakeholders agree that taking care of families or communities is a core principle of how we should operate in the world, then it doesn’t matter if you believe that because you believe the world is safe or dangerous. You can find common ground on some other core belief.
But without those beliefs articulated, without them said out loud, without you stating both the why behind what you do and the why behind how you do it—those core principles—people may understand your message, but they won’t agree with it.
So pay attention to those principles, and make sure that they are in your message, too.