Want to know a secret? For someone to act on the change you’re suggesting—whether it’s a shift in idea, approach, strategy, or behavior—they need to be motivated. Sounds obvious, right? But here’s where it gets interesting: We’re never neutral about the things we’re not neutral about. Yes, yes, I know that’s another obvious idea. When […]
Remove the neutral position Read More »
All you want to do is cancel your cable service. You pick up the phone, dial the number, and brace yourself for the inevitable. The customer service representative answers, and upon hearing your request, switches into high gear. They start pitching every imaginable package, deal, and special offer. It’s a relentless barrage of benefits, each
You can’t want it more than they do Read More »
How do you inspire someone to act, to change, or to think differently than they do right now? There are two key principles at play: So, what does that mean when it comes to creating the foundation of your message? Because intuition drives agreement—and agreement drives action—your message must be intuitively agreeable from the start.
Want to inspire action? Start here. Read More »
Hello, you! Internally motivated change—the kind that come from the inside out—often begins with something you simply can’t unhear. It’s sparked by a truth that resonates so deeply it shifts your perspective. Phrases like, “When two truths fight, only one wins,” or, “A life lived in fear is a life half lived,” or, “You can’t
Recognizable Truths Read More »
All change involves choice. Sometimes, that choice is between two things someone deeply believes or values. That kind of choice creates a specific form of mental pain: cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort someone feels when conflicting beliefs or desires challenge their current understanding of the world—when the Ding! of truth makes their previous
When two truths fight, only one wins Read More »
Having trouble making a change stick? It might be because your E.T.O. is off. E.T.O. stands for Effort-to-Outcome Ratio, something I discuss in detail in my upcoming book, Say What They Can’t Unhear. Essentially, it’s the balance between the effort you’re putting in and the results you’re seeing. When change doesn’t stick—whether with yourself, your
Is your E.T.O. off? Read More »
Think about pain for a minute. How did you learn not to touch a hot stove? By touching it, right? And did you keep touching it? No! Because it hurt. If doing something feels like a constant struggle or an assault on your sense of self—if it’s painful—it’s only a matter of time before you
Pain is the enemy of long-term change Read More »
One of the biggest challenges to change is something called cognitive inertia. It’s just like physical inertia—where a body at rest stays at rest. In the case of cognitive inertia, though, it’s our ideas, the stories we tell ourselves, our beliefs that stay at rest. If you’re trying to create change, and it’s one of
Why Challenging Beliefs Isn’t the Answer—Try This Instead Read More »
Picture a community meeting in a town where the local government has proposed a significant change in the school district’s funding. The auditorium is packed with concerned parents, educators, and students, all charged with emotion about the decision’s potential impacts. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long before the meeting devolves into a heated political battle. One
The deepest beliefs are the hardest to shift Read More »
